Archive for the ‘Embarrassing’ Category

Was serving two couples, after a couple bottles of wine one of the mothers asked to take my picture as she wanted to set me up with her daughter. I said OK what does she look like. They said she looks just like Kate Hudson and showed me a picture of her. Yeah she looked like Kate Hudson if Kate Hudson gained 40 pounds and ran face first into a wall 10 times….Thanks but no thanks.


That awkward moment when you whip out your black book to pay at the bar instead of your wallet and you pay in all ones and the bartender looks at you like you’re a stripper….


I work for a nicer restaurant in San Francisco, last Saturday night a bigger man with short hair was about to walk into the ladies room so I quickly yelled, “sir that’s the women’s restroom!” SHE turned around and said, “I know…” I was mortified!!!


Bartending at one of those chain restaurants. Well, one day a youngish and well-groomed guy walked in with who I assumed was a cougar. It seemed like they were on some sort of date. For about twenty minutes, all the woman did was talk about different sexual positions, ways to achieve an orgasm. Finally, she loudly approached the topic of anal sex. The young man buried his head in his hands and screamed “Mom, please stop it.” Gave him a shot on the house.


Depositing money at the bank:

“I swear I’m not a stripper. I just have alot of ones…I’m a waitress.”


I am a host. Tonight I showed a girl to her table. Twenty minutes later I had to remove the same girl as she was crying her heart out (very loudly!) having been stood up!


I’m from the south and have a bad habit of saying “you guys” on accident sometimes. Said it to two middle aged ladies one time when getting drinks and next thing I know they are leaving and one of them is crying. Apparently the crying one had cancer and was insecure about her femininity after losing her hair (she was wearing a wig.) How was I suppose to know?!?


I’m a bartender in a nightclub in south Florida. (did i mention it’s clothing optional)? we give nicknames to our regular joes who come in with small thingys…theres dr. acorn, mister burns, the “outtie” (seriously looks like a belly button)…and to all you twenty somethings who think you are impressing the chicks and staff by running around grabbing arses and acting like you’re the first guys in the universe to do that, you’re not, you look dumb and no one wants to see your weird little nuts. thanks. i have a million stories but most awkward IMO is…drum roll…probably the guy who brought his weird little poodle dog in and was in the corner looking over the balcony with his back to us. security got nosy because he was fiddling with one hand, dog in other, security sees he’s fiddling with yup…his thingy…we have strict ‘no sex on premises’ rule. security asks him to stop, he asks if he could finish up first, security declines asks him to leave now. he offers security 3$ to let him stay and he promises not to jerk it anymore…no dice. is ejected by two security guards (one with the dog) sporting the blue steel.


I had a drunken gentleman helicopter his dick at me when I refused to give him my number.

I had a man who would repeatedly piss himself and proceed to stick around acting like it never happened.

Woman fell face first off the toilet while taking a massive dump and ended up covered in it, crying and angry.

Massive (over 400 pound woman) broke a bar stool.


What we have here, folks, is Long Beach ghettoness at it’s finest. This bitch straight brought her house phone out with her and plugged it into the ATM jack my restaurant.


ghetto Girl uses atm jack to make phone call

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