Never Seen a Double Chin Wobble So Hard

I’m a chef that works at a casino (multiple food outlets) any ways one of the outlets is a buffet. We get some of the worst penny pinching people I have ever met in my entire life.

This one guy comes in every Saturday lunch with a group of lackeys. He is a short fat balding man who wears a god awful tupe. Any ways its a buffet as I mentioned and the food offerings change daily, nut without fail he will come up and request a heap of food we don’t have. Piss off all the waitresses and send his food back, or try to get it comped.

He also does this thing where he gets up and fills a plate of food to the absolute fucking top and then asks it to be wrapped in foil. So i pop out to my head chef and tell him whats going on and he says “oh hes been doing it for years apparently its for his son, who is sick.”

This guys been doing this for years YEARS. should of seen him the day they told him he had to stop taking free food home. Never seen a double chin wobble so hard.

-Caesar

Hungry?

There is  a dishwasher that would eat food off of the plates when no one was looking…. I was looking….

-Alex

Shart?

I am a host and its my job to make sure the restroom is clean. Today a man walks to the counter and tells me the bathroom is dirty. I walk into the bathroom and there is a pair of tighty whitys with a GIANT shit stain on them sitting right next to the toilet…. awesome.

-Trevor

St. Patrick’s Day Problems

I just cleaned up green puke amd its only 11:12 a.m.

-Stacy

Salad Bar Miner

Today I witnessed a man digging into his butt crack (inside his pants) for a good five seconds, then immediately reached for the tongs at a salad bar.

-Brad

Bartending at a Swim-up Bar in Vegas, Then I See it

I found this site today and I love it! For your pleasure here is by far my best bartending story of my 12 year bartending career. I worked at a swim up bar at a pool party in Las Vegas for 3 filthy years. One raging Saturday afternoon I had a drunk chick sit at my bar for a good 3 hours. I learned that she had been dieting for this trip for 2 weeks drinking nothing but juice. She was pleasant and it was busy so I started pouring her shots on the house. 4 shots down I could tell she was wasted then I saw it…a merky cloud in the water behind her. At first I thought is was a spilled drink then she yelled “shit!” and booked it out of the pool. This broad shit in the pool right in front of me…a merky 2 week juice diet shit.

-Chad

Too Much Splenda

I just watched a lady pour like 20 Splednda packets into her iced tea then ask me for, “more Splenda….Like alot more….”

-Barbie

PEED HER PANTS

It gets pretty crazy at the bar I work at. One day a girl got so drunk she PEED HER PANTS, there was a huge puddle on and around her chair. Our bouncer asked her to leave but she just sat there in her dirty pee pants until the bouncer made her friends carry her out! bahaha

-Jerry

Vomit Balloon

Was working at a restaurant. Kid and father come in. Kid has a hot dog (our hot dogs were not the greatest). Kid asks for a balloon. I bring both the balloon and the hot dog. Excited kid wants to be able to hold both, so the dad ties the balloon to his–the kid’s–wrist. Kid eats the hot dog and projectile vomits all over the table, the booth, the floor, and (importantly) the balloon.
Dad cuts the balloon off the kid’s wrist, takes the kid to the bathroom. While they’re doing their thing, the balloon starts drifting, dripping vomit on other tables and nearing a ceiling fan (uh oh). So I grab the balloon and say, Hey, I need to deflate this, so I also grab a fork.
Let me pause here to say that my concentration face, when doing a meticulous task, involves a slightly open mouth.
I’m a genius, so I grab the skin near the nipple of the vomit balloon between my fingers and try to puncture it with the fork to let the air out slowly. The balloon popped, spraying my agape face with hotdog vomit.

-Lexi

Hot Cottage Cheese

Had a woman who demanded that everything she ate be heated up, like yogurt, cottage cheese, cake, ice cream, etc…Is that a health code violation!?

-Conner