You Better Think Twice Before Taking a Bite

One night when I was a waitress at Texas Roadhouse, a guy at my table of 20 people decided to start throwing peanuts at me while I was taking orders. One of the peanuts hit me in my chest and everyone at the table noticed it. Everyone got real quiet. I looked at the guy and said “I’ve got something really special for your food order,” and the whole table erupted with laughter. The guy turned bright red and had a look on his face that said he had just lost his appetite. I’m sure he thought twice before drinking his lemonade and biting into his steak.

-Leslie

God Bless Cooks That Stick up For The Wait Staff

When I was 8 months pregnant, I was graceful as a hippo and hustling around a truck stop dining room usually served by 3 waitresses, by myself because a blizzard had closed the highways my relief shift took to get to work – I was confronted by a group of 6 who wanted to change their order every time I went by the table to freshen their coffees.

The cook I worked with was a hard ass – he figured if a ticket got changed a lot, it was because the waitress had messed up – and he was fierce – I trembled, putting the changed ticket back up and said, “I’m so sorry – but they keep changing it every time I walk by.” He paused from slicing steaks, did not lay down the knife and growled, “What table is it?” I told him and he disappeared in the back dining room.

The meal was served, customers happy and I clear the table after they leave to find a total of $154 dollars in tip scattered around the table – to this day, 22 years later, I don’t know what he said, or how much he waved the knife while he said it, but his protective spirit bought my baby’s first car seat….

God Bless cooks who stick up for the wait staff!

– Tamra

Straight to Facebook

I had a nightmare 6 top tonight. They sent everything back, spilled 3 drinks, and were incredibly rude. At the end of the ordeal they tipped $3.24 on a $176.00 tab. $3.24! Then they camped at the table for an hour. As I walked past their table one of the women asked if I could take a picture with her phone…ugh I still said yes and she handed me the phone. Instead of the camera coming up her camera screen her galley came up and there were tons of dirty pictures. So I pretended to take a few pictures but instead I was uploading the pictures straight to facbook, oooops.

-Chris

Take Your Shit and Get Out Of My Dining Room

I had just made the rounds and was in the staff area, tidying and making sure my water pitchers were filled, and one of my coworkers (marked as JB) comes flying through the kitchen and collapses on one of the extra chairs we kept stacked there.

Now, JB was only seventeen at the time, and he was pretty new at waiting tables, and he was absolutely terrified, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. I pour him a glass of water and ask him what the hell happened.

JB: “I was getting B7’s drink order from the bar, and one of the guests backed her chair right into me, and I dropped the whole thing on her and her fur coat.”

Me: “Please tell me it was white wine.”

JB: “All red. God, the floor manager is going to kill me. Can I hide here for a bit?”

I tell him to catch his breath and keep an eye on the lodge room for me, and I go to scope out the scene of the crime. I get halfway through the kitchen and I start to hear the screaming. Fur coat lady is kicking up such a fuss that the entire BOH has emptied and they’re furtively taking a look at the scene unfolding before them.

The floor manager is trying to calm her down, and figure out what to do. She’s screaming at him about how we’re going to have to pay for the cleaning, and she’s going to sue, and yadda yadda.

Floor Manager: “I’m terribly sorry this happened, but we are particularly busy tonight. Did our hostess not give you the option to check your coat?”

Fur coat lady: “Are you fucking retarded? I’m not going to trust my fur coat to a fucking (insert racial slur)

Floor manager: “Look lady, I saw you back your chair into JB, and now you’re admitting that you refused to check your coat. You can take your shit and get out of my dining room.”

The fur coat lady then throws her glass at the floor manager and stomps out screaming. JB was forgiven, and we never saw her again. From what I heard through the rumor mill, her club account got canceled and she’s forever blacklisted from the establishment.

-Alexis

Business Lunch Revenge

I made a post about business lunches a couple of days ago. I got fed up! Today this pompous prick came in again, sat in my section again, and was a douche bag again. So when he paid with his credit card I came back to the table and said, “sorry sir but your card was declined.” He demanded that I try it again. To which I replied, “Sorry but I ran it 3 times.” He got super flustered and one of his associates picked up the tab. I hope he learned a lesson!

-Brad

She Got Caught Lying

Worked at a Mexican place that gave free chips and salsa out. Lady’s meal arrives after she plowed through 3 bowls of salsa and 4 baskets of chips. She ordered cheese enchiladas. She see’s a piece of onion in the cheese, and demands we remake it.

I say no problem and have the chef remake it. When I drop it off she starts yelling about how she’s allergic to onions, and how stupid I am, and she’s also not paying. Once she shut up, I asked if I should call an ambulance because she just ate a ton of onions via the 3 bowls of salsa she had eaten. Back pedaling, she says she didn’t see any onions in there. I stand firm and ask her again if I should call 911 for an allergic reaction. I think she knew she was caught lying, and suddenly got quiet and was a little nicer.

-Brandon

Fat Waiter Getting Revenge: From Road Trip the Movie

Ooo…..pardon me….

She Got Perma-Banned From The Restaurant

Had a woman shouting over the entire restaurant over how her bbq chicken wings were shit after she ate all 12 of them, leaving nothing but the bones. She also commented on the bad smell of the sauce, it’s full of blue cheese you idiot, what did you expect. She also didn’t like the pasta carbonara that her date was eating, he gestured it was good but didn’t want to add to the scene.
Luckily there were only 4 other customers present. She was a semi regular, claimed to know the owner and what not. That made it all the more fun when she was demanding a discount, the waiters refused to take her money and she was perma-banned from the restaurant.

-Bree

Revenge!

Recently, the pub I work at has a new policy about not allowing dogs on the patio, all because of one major douchebag in particular.  It is a busy Sunday, serving mimosas to all of the drunk asses who wander up and down Belmont Shore California, when this fool’s dog just throws up twice on the patio.  I come out with my hands full with 4 schooners when this guy says, “Hey my dog just threw up and you should clean it up before someone steps in it.” … Sure, sir, let me get right on that for you… NOT. So I come out with a pitcher of water and hand it to the guy.  He scoffs and says, “You want me to clean this up? YOU work here.”  Just as I was about to body slam him (I wish) some meat head steps in the throw up, and starts getting heated.  Lucky for me, this meat head is a regular and also a bartender at another place on the street, and he made sure the guy clean up the puke on the ground… and his own feet :D

-Diane

Good Riddance

My absolute favorite customer smack down has to between a former boss lady and a crotchety fart stain of a customer* who tried to make a reservation a few weeks after leaving a $5 gratuity on a check for $102.

Boss: I’m surprised you’re calling to make a reservation. I thought you’d be calling to complain.

Jerk: No. Why would I complain? Everything was fantastic last time. I’m really excited to try your blah blah blah.

Boss: Well, in that case, I’m sorry but you are no longer welcome at our dinner service.

Jerk: What? Why?

Boss: Because you did not pay your bill in full last time.

Jerk: [yelling]

Boss: Leaving my girls $5 on a $102 tab is disgraceful. [hangs up]

-Mary