Archive for the ‘Ridiculous Orders’ Category

What is it about hot water and it constantly being accompanied by such an intense sense of urgency?! If you see a server pass you by while you are frantically screaming “EXCUSE ME, HOT WATER?”, and they don’t stop, its because they’re busy taking everyone else’s orders that make sense…don’t worry, they’ll get to you when they can.


I work at a restaurant with all female servers, think orange shorts and tank tops. There are a couple of regulars that are always there for happy hour, one of which is massively overweight and this is his order every time…”can I please get 20 breaded wings, fries, lots a tots, fried pickles, cheese sticks, EXTRA ranch and a diet Pepsi.” Really…diet?


I worked as a server at an organic restaurant. We were known for being vegan-friendly, wheat-free and willing to accommodate individual’s “special dietary needs.” One day a man and his family came in for dinner. He came up to the counter to order and he told me he had a few allergies. I told him that was fine, because we are used to accommodating allergies. Then I asked him what he was allergic to. “You might want to grab a pen” was his response. This man was allergic to eleven major food groupings including, all peanuts, tree nuts and pine nuts, all shellfish and seafood, dairy, lentils and peas and well as wheat. I couldn’t believe it. I grabbed the cook from the kitchen and brought him out to talk to the customer because I didn’t even know what to offer him. I understand that allergies suck, but cross contamination is so common in restaurants that someone whose life could be threatened by and number of common foods should maybe stay in to eat.

The story ends as the customer orders and eats steak and cooked quinoa. I stood within arms reach of the phone his entire stay just in case I had to call emergency services.


Me: “What salad dressing would you like on your salad?”

Annoying: “What kinds do you have?”

Me: “Ranch, Honey Mustard, Bleu Cheese, Balsamic, 1000 Island, (the list goes on forever. My restaurant has  like 15).”

After I’ve finally listed all billion dressings that we have:

Annoying: “Oh I’ll just have Ranch.”

… which restaurants do NOT have ranch? (I know there are exceptions, but in a chain restaurant, this is HIGHLY unlikely that you won’t have ranch as a choice….

Shut up and get out of my life.

– Lauren

A couple walked into my sushi restaurant demanding non-fish sushi because the girl is highly allergic to fish. I suggest they try our rice dishes instead.

“Ummm, no. I want sushi, but make sure it hasn’t touched any fish.” …..WTF…..


Tim Horton’s are the worst. I was on soup & sandwich one day and a woman (who turned out to be my neighbor  sent back a bagel 4 times. 1)Too much butter 2)Not enough butter 3)Not toasted enough 4)Too toasted and then we ran out of her bagel so she complained to the manager. How can you be this miserable?

– Susan

Tonight a had a lady order angel hair pasta, no pine nuts, no tomato, no olives, no cheese, no basil. (the only thing that’s left is noodles and oil) She then sends it back because it’s too bland….*face palm* Really lady its bland? You ordered oiled noodles for Christ’s sake.


That moment when someone takes the liberty to order a “round of waters” for a 16 top and I want to round house kick them straight in the face


If you go out to eat and order a drink with no ice, I will immediately mentally red-flag you as a person.


Customer: “I’ll have wonton soup… no wonton”

me: speechless