The Bartender Hates You

Sounds like a choking squirrel…

He Looked Like a Cross Between Bill Murray and Robin Williams

I had a guy come in and sit at one of my lounge tables. He looked like a cross between Bill Murray and Robin Williams, clearly out of it, and carrying a bottle of Orange Crush. So he sits down, orders a beer. He pours some of it into a glass, sips it for a while.. nothing weird. Then he orders a mudslide. Okay, go get that too. By now he’s talking to other customers and kind of creeping them out. He’s about halfway done his drinks when he decides, “fuck it, I’ll drink ’em all at once. Super drink!”

He poured the rest of his beer and orange crush into his mudslide, and continued to drink. He then asked me for his bill and a to go cup. WTF?

-Mike

Give Me a Lindsey Lohan

Customer: “Give me a Lindsay Lohan”

Me: “What’s that?”

Customer: “A red-headed slut with a splash of Coke”

Me: “bahahahahahahaha”

-Chris

Last Call

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Whole Lotta Woman

As a bartender I once witnessed a 250 pound woman take a body shot off of another 250 pound woman.

-Chris

Uhhh I Don’t Buy Drinks

Watched a chick at my bar last night go up to five different guys and say “You looked at me, now you gonna buy me a drink?” and in amazement, I watched as they bought her drinks.

-David

Mr. Ice Cube

I was Ice Cube’s bartender last week. First and only famous person I have ever waited on! He was very nice and tipped great. On the way out he shook my hand, I was worried he would try one of those really complex gangsta handshakes, and I would have ended up lamely trying to keep up, thank god it was straight forward. He probably took pity on my pale ass.

-Brian

Crazy Bartender Story

This is one of my bartender stories. One night a guy walked in and asked me to call a taxi for him, I told him that there is a cab line in front of our bar simply signal one on the street. Then he got real angry and demanded that I call 911 because his hart (which I did) After 5 minutes or so the man started accusing me of lying to him about having an affair with his daughter, then he accused me of having murdered his dog, he was yelling at the top of his lungs, calling me a murderer and threatening to rip off my throat. Then he takes his shirt off jumps on top of the bar and starts kicking over peoples drinks! I call the cops and he got dragged out in handcuffs!

-Paul

Last Call

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Ninja Restaurant in New York

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