Worst Date Ever?

We had a two top and initially we thought it was a date. Would have been the worst date ever though because the girl was on her phone the whole time. This is before smart phones mind you. She was just texting and talking to friends the whole time and didn’t give a second of attention to her companion.

He finishes up and excuses himself from the table for a moment and walks out into the lobby. He tells the hostess that that was his roommate with whom he’d made plans several day before to come out for a nice dinner. But since she treated him like he wasn’t there, he decided that she could pay the bill and find her own way home. Then he walked out the door and left.

-John

Couple Get Caught Having Sex On Restaurant Table In Florida

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Regular Asshole

Every time this regular comes in, he rustles my damn jimmies by just flat out refusing to speak to me until he absolutely must. He’ll walk in, I’ll give him a big smile and say something friendly like “Afternoon sir, good to see you again” or whatever… and he’ll sort of glance at me and walk past me and start looking around the restaurant, checking for his friends or deciding what table he wants. I’ll go, “Joining us for lunch? How many in your party today?” And he’ll shrug without looking at me and wander towards his favorite table.

If I’m really lucky, sometimes he’ll hold up a number of fingers to indicate how many friends he’s expecting. If he’s getting takeout, he’ll ignore my greeting and stick his head over the counter to where we have the specials posted in the wait station (for the staff’s use – we have them posted very obviously in a convenient spot outside for customers). Not a word from him until he’s ready to order. And he never acts particularly cranky… the vibe is very clearly just “you’re beneath me, I don’t need to talk to you.” So damn rude.

-Amanda

Hot Bartender Gallery (16 Photos)

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Last Call Gallery (29 Photos)

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The Sexual Tension was Ridiculous

Had two regulars that would come in for Bears games like clockwork. Never missed a game in the two years I worked there. Nice guys married with kids and working as house painters. One looked like Michael Chiklis the other looked like Ned from Groundhog’s day. One day they get fall down sloppy and start causing a ruckus. I tell them that they have to clear out and they stumble to the sidewalk. Five minutes later everyone in the bar is gathering around the front window. I look out and these two dudes are making out in the middle of Clark Street. Never saw them again.

-Chad

My Section From Hell

Of my 7ish table section I have the following:

A 2 top of foreigners who barely speak English let alone know what they ordered.
A 2 top at one of my 4 tops ( I have open 2s)
A 3 top of creepy inapporate rednecks
And a 6 top of children

Who wants to get a drink with me after work????

-Justene

Are You on Drugs

This dude comes in to my bar, acting pretty normal. Two beers in, out of nowhere, he decides someone is going to shoot him and that someone is hiding in the bar. I’m assuming the shrooms hit or something. This guy backs up to the wall and starts screaming for everyone to back off. When the bouncer approaches, he starts screaming “YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME AREN’T YOU?!” On and on until finally, he just bolts out the front door at full speed. Assuming that was it, normal bar business resumes.

Then cops show up looking for the bouncer who “threatened to kill this man while brandishing a weapon.” Apparently this idiot ran down the road until he saw a cop car which he then jumped in front of while screaming “THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL ME!” So everyone explains to the cops that this guy has lost it and no one here has a gun, let alone is trying to kill him. The cops look at the bouncer and say “Are you on drugs?” “Umm no.” “Is he on drugs?” “Probably.” “Okay. Have a good one.” And that guy promptly went to jail.

-Jason

Poor Choices Last Night

Ok so Sunday I had this family at a table. 5 little boys and their parents. The first four little boys all ordered soda, and then the last little boy ordered a water. While he was ordering his dad interrupted by sternly saying that he had made poor choices last night so he only gets water. Without missing a beat I looked him straight in the eye and said I completely understand, when I make poor choices I drink a lot of water the next day too ; )

-Eve

I’ll be Your Customer Tonight

Me: “Hi, I’m Megan, I’ll be your waitress tonight.”

Customer: “Well, hi, I’m Joe and I’ll be your customer for tonight”

Oh, the laughs that were had. ._.

-Megan