Girls Are Assholes: At a Bar

We Know How to Party

I am pretty sure 75% of the waiting staff at my restaurant are going to be more drunk than their customers this Cinco de Mayo….

– James

You Are Not Qualified to Have Children

I waited on a mother and her two daughters the other night. The girls were clearly in their early teens and the mother had one of those weird expressionless botox faces. I approach the table and the first thing out of this woman’s mouth was this, “hello, these are my daughters they aren’t 21 but I am their mother and I want them drinking with me tonight…so bring us 3 Margaritas and 3 shots of Patron.” after refusing her request I come back to the table with a round of waters and the same woman that seemed intent on getting her little girls hammered is now holding her iphone and showing them pictures of her in a skimpy bikini and asking which picture she should send to her boyfriends. BOYFRIENDS as in plural!

Then she sent her food back, complained about the temperature of the restaurant, asked to move tables, complained to my manager because I was rude for denying her underage daughters booze, and stiffed me.

The only thing I could think as I held the receipt in my hand with a big fat zero where the tip is supposed to go was……I wonder what her daughter’s stripper names are going to be.

-Chris

It’s That Time of the Year

Fuck prom kids. Seriously.

I don’t even think I have to elaborate on this.

-Graham

We Are NOT Splitting The Tip he Owes Me

I was setting up for a party of 20 with my coworker and talking about how we’d split the gratuity with the breaker.  My coworker said, “we’ll give him NOTHING, I had a party last night and he passed out on my couch then pissed himself, he owes me.” after the party, the breaker never asked for his cut.  I love my job.