If you are a piece of shit redneck, and your credit card gets declined at the restaurant, and you can’t afford your food you ordered, and your letting your fat nasty kids drink mountain dew at 8 PM, the best thing to do is complain to the manager about your waitress and what “bad service” you had.
Because obviously your waitress is the problem.
Insert rage.
– Kathryn
We had a two top and initially we thought it was a date. Would have been the worst date ever though because the girl was on her phone the whole time. This is before smart phones mind you. She was just texting and talking to friends the whole time and didn’t give a second of attention to her companion.
He finishes up and excuses himself from the table for a moment and walks out into the lobby. He tells the hostess that that was his roommate with whom he’d made plans several day before to come out for a nice dinner. But since she treated him like he wasn’t there, he decided that she could pay the bill and find her own way home. Then he walked out the door and left.
-John
MY guests order some sort of drink from the bar. I always bring waters to my guests while I wait for their drinks. I bring the lady a water and she says “sir, this drink has no flavor”. while holding back my laughter I respond, “ma’am, that’s because it is water. it’s not supposed to have flavor”. the rest of the table busts out laughing, I kept my composure until I went to the bar. lol. you cant make this shit up.
-Candice
One night when I was a waitress at Texas Roadhouse, a guy at my table of 20 people decided to start throwing peanuts at me while I was taking orders. One of the peanuts hit me in my chest and everyone at the table noticed it. Everyone got real quiet. I looked at the guy and said “I’ve got something really special for your food order,” and the whole table erupted with laughter. The guy turned bright red and had a look on his face that said he had just lost his appetite. I’m sure he thought twice before drinking his lemonade and biting into his steak.
-Leslie
Last night I had the “pleasure” of waiting on a table of 8: granddad, grandma, aunts, husband, wife, all relatives. The husband & wife brought in their two screaming children ages 2-5. So they’re loud, their kids are loud, they are rude from the start, and they ignore me whenever I ask basic questions. Annnnnnnd they were encouraging them to yell and letting them run around through the galley where hot plates of food are sent out.
Beyond letting their spawn run wild, they fail to answer me or acknowledge me, or even look at me when I retrieve many of the items they asked for. I bring over some items to keep the kids satisfied, and the wife asks to have her kid’s food comped because she doesn’t like it. All some of my biggest pet peeves as a waitress, but I try to not let it get to me.
Fast forward 30 minutes, The wife bursts into tears and one of the aunts starts yelling across the table “I can’t believe you! You’re OUTTA LINE!” Frozen holding a food tray, I wonder if I should continue serving pasta while the yelling happens. The grandma tugs on my arm and assures me it’s not me, and not to worry about it. It continues.. “FINE, whatever, Susan. You are RIDICULOUS!” “Yeah? Am I? AM I?”
Every other table in the room is starting to fall silent. Next thing I know, a full on Talladega Nights-style family fight with tears and name calling has begun; the wife runs out of the restaurant in tears and the ancient grandpa looks like he is praying for death after his relatives’ lack of manners. “I’m so sorry about my horrible sister in law,” one of them says. “Uhh. It’s okay.” I say, not really sure what is going on anymore. The wife has fled outside crying to the place where we take our smoke breaks, and our other employees are starting to get confused.
But they don’t leave. They stay, for quite awhile, and continue to argue. I wait til they finally flag me down and I go to hand them their check – and yes, they are still arguing. “I already added the gratuity!” I remind them, as I hand the slip to the aunt. “Yeah, okay” they say as they sort of blow me off again.But the story has a happy ending. Hundred dollar check AFTER gratuity. They tipped me about 20 on top of that because they were too busy fighting.
DOUBLE TIP.
-Tara
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If you request NO MEAT in your salad, there is no reason to be discouraged, confused, and/or angry when you discover that your salad is also “bacon-less”.
-Danielle
Today I served an obese ginger family. There were 7 of them and they all needed extra ranch. I thought this was some kind of mathematical impossibility? Either way I could literally feel my soul being sucked out of my body every time I refilled a coke. Do you automatically get diabetes after 7 coke refills? Weeeellllll the fat version of the Weasly family from Harry Potter managed to rack up a $267.87 check only to leave $3.13 for my effort….my only consolation is that they would all probably burst into flames if the sun were to ever touch their creepy pale skin.
-Chris
Every time this regular comes in, he rustles my damn jimmies by just flat out refusing to speak to me until he absolutely must. He’ll walk in, I’ll give him a big smile and say something friendly like “Afternoon sir, good to see you again” or whatever… and he’ll sort of glance at me and walk past me and start looking around the restaurant, checking for his friends or deciding what table he wants. I’ll go, “Joining us for lunch? How many in your party today?” And he’ll shrug without looking at me and wander towards his favorite table.
If I’m really lucky, sometimes he’ll hold up a number of fingers to indicate how many friends he’s expecting. If he’s getting takeout, he’ll ignore my greeting and stick his head over the counter to where we have the specials posted in the wait station (for the staff’s use – we have them posted very obviously in a convenient spot outside for customers). Not a word from him until he’s ready to order. And he never acts particularly cranky… the vibe is very clearly just “you’re beneath me, I don’t need to talk to you.” So damn rude.
-Amanda
Break Room Stories