To My Fellow Servers

So, I worked last week and I was sat a table of three girls and one guy who seemed to me about my age (early 20’s). I came up to the table introduced myself as I always do, and started to take their drink orders when one of the girls asked me to list off every type of lemonade we have, once I was done she informed me she didn’t like our lemonade and just wanted a coke the others laughed. I smiled, and came back with their drinks. From then on every time I came to the table she had something rude to say, I believe that she was showing off to her friends. She unfortunately was the one who paid, and left me a nice little note along with a 10% tip on $50 saying, “Better service will get you a better tip! Smile. Don’t judge a table by their age, we work in a rest (she crossed out the end of restaurant I’m assuming because she didn’t know how to spell it) and we would have left you a GREAT tip! <3" When she and her friends left she smacked the book right next to guest I was assisting and said "here ya go."

If she really is a server, and I really doubt it by the way she treated me, I'm sure karma will come back and get her. I've never treated any server of mine with such hostility and hatefulness. Oh, and I know how to spell the type of place I work at, and I don't judge people based on age but based on how they treat me. Thanks!

-Kristen

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Either Way I Smell

I can’t tell if my arms are getting stronger from working out or carrying dirty plates back to the kitchen….either way I smell like sweat and ranch.

– Tiffany

Keeping it Classy

I was seated with a two-top in a corner table so I went over to get their drinks. This couple was the kind of people that would be more likely to frequent a trashy bar. We are not upscale by any means, and we do serve hard alcohol, but we are more of a family restaurant. After bringing them their beers I first asked the woman what she would like. Just a cup of the tomato soup. Ok. No problem. I look to the guy who just has the cringeworthy look of a total scumbag. You know the type.

“What can I get for you sir?”

“Oh, I’m not getting anything else tonight. The only thing I’ll be eating tonight…
(puts is hand to his mouth and his trashy self leans in towards my face and with a half whisper half shout exclaims)
is her Vagina!”

They both laughed. I walked away.

She didn’t like the soup.

-Chris

Tip Jar (13 Photos)

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Tip Jar (12 Photos)

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If I’m Strippen You Better Be Tippin

So last night my section was in my restaurant’s private dining room (used for private parties generally, over flow seating on busy nights). After a hectic three or so hours of dealing with a full room and needy tables (makin paper though), things finally looked like they were calming down.

Thinking I was about to get cut, the host comes in and tells me to quickly put together a big table for an eight top walk in. I sigh, a little upset that an eight top would walk in so close to our kitchen closing, but I live to serve. So I hastily set the table and wouldn’t you know it, in walks 7 drunk ass ladies and their drunk ass bachelorette friend. So maybe this won’t be so bad.

I immediately turn on the charm, offer champagne, cocktails, wine, you name it, we got it. And so did they. Also they only ordered off of our small plate menu, so no angry kitchen! Yay.

So after several rounds of drinks, and a giant penis cake that they brought in for dessert (And yes, it was chocolate haha), they were ready to pay. I cleared the table, dropped the check, then disappeared. I figured I would just be making the 18% grat off of them (We do it for parties of 6 or more) because their total bill was up to about 320 bucks.

Not five minutes later they called me back in and they all had these goofy grins on their faces, and a check presenter full of cash. “It’s for you, but only if you dance for the bachelorette.” Now I know I could’ve refused, maybe even should have refused, and I’m pretty sure they expected me to. But being the ridiculous person that I am, I simply told them to cue the music.

And so I did a hilarious and very vanilla lap dance for a bachelorette last night. And made a LOT of cash. Like, they doubled the gratuity. I sort of felt a little dirty after it, but was able to laugh it off after a post work drink. Inappropriate? Maybe. Fun? Definitely.

-Chris